🔗 Share this article Nighttime Personalities Target Trump's New 'Gold Card' Visa Scheme Television's top comedians used the broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's just unveiled immigration initiative, labeled the "gold card," characterizing it as a obvious pay-to-play arrangement for the rich. Colbert's Witty Spin Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday tune about the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... spoils everything he touches." The subject was the controversial plan that permits foreign nationals to acquire U.S. residence for a sum of $1 million dollars, with a "premium" version for $5 million. The program's website pledges processing "faster than ever." "A quick note for you to rich foreigners: before you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped. He pointed out that the program is also meant to "extract cash" from companies looking to hire foreign workers, involving large payments. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – as long as it's the that one hotel," he continued. "The most thorough vetting the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these people absolutely qualify to be in America." "That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Commentary On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card." "It's a card that will permit wealthy foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection." "Perhaps it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added. Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo." "Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers covering Economic Struggles Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval ratings amid financial concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he said. This week, in a effort to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and behaved strangely to boxes of cereal. "These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages." "Trump is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?" Meyers concluded by targeting right-leaning media coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he joked.
Television's top comedians used the broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's just unveiled immigration initiative, labeled the "gold card," characterizing it as a obvious pay-to-play arrangement for the rich. Colbert's Witty Spin Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday tune about the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... spoils everything he touches." The subject was the controversial plan that permits foreign nationals to acquire U.S. residence for a sum of $1 million dollars, with a "premium" version for $5 million. The program's website pledges processing "faster than ever." "A quick note for you to rich foreigners: before you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped. He pointed out that the program is also meant to "extract cash" from companies looking to hire foreign workers, involving large payments. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – as long as it's the that one hotel," he continued. "The most thorough vetting the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these people absolutely qualify to be in America." "That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Commentary On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card." "It's a card that will permit wealthy foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection." "Perhaps it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added. Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo." "Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers covering Economic Struggles Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval ratings amid financial concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he said. This week, in a effort to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and behaved strangely to boxes of cereal. "These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages." "Trump is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?" Meyers concluded by targeting right-leaning media coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he joked.